Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm lost and stupid without you.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
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Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
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I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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