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Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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