i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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