Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
two words...techno handjob
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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