i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
