I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Mom said you looked used
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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