I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
