Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Randomize
