I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
