im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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