we're blogging at a bar
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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