I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
