Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
