you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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