She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
