I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
