p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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