Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
