Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I can't turn off my feet"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
