u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
