NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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