CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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