Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
