i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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