I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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