See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
