I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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