my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
