The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
