Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
