hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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