why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
