Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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