Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
