he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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