we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
