Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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