Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
