Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
just tell him i said nine months
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
