i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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