just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
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No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
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My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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