he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
