hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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