i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
