do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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