I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
And then he peed in my hair
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