what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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