sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
