I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
