woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
