matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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