i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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