i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My pussy is not your playground.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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