Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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