It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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