i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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