Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This is the high leading the old right now
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
