That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Randomize
