if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize