he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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