If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
