so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
