It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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