I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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